रविवार, 15 अप्रैल 2012

Eluding the truth. Really??

He was in love. Or he called it love. Or he felt it was love- admidst these different positions (if they were different at all) he was sitting there. With her. It was a park. A public place. It was spring season. Beautiful all around. He loved that park. It felt familiar. May be the ducks, the squirrels, the birds made it so. Or may be- her presence.

Choice. Answers. He never looked for answers. Almost never. Why?- because he thought answers elude the truth. Or they did it in his experience.


 But of late he felt that it was a bad habit. Wait. When did he begin categorizing his habits as good or bad. Being judgmental was not one of his traits. Or may be it was - at a far more subtle level - to be perceived even to self. Was it her who was causing 'it? Was he trying to understand himself through her eyes? Was it good? Won't it hurt his ego which was too happy to maintain a status quo? 

Answers - he felt again- always elude the truth.

He had looked long enough away from her. She had noticed. Or may be she hadn't. She was looking somewhere else herself. He looked at her. Into her- he often used to tell himself. Into her eyes. Eyes- the most beautiful aspect of her being. They conversed a lot. Not that she did it less in other way. Actually she too, like her eyes, conversed a lot. Yes - 'conversed' , not speak, he told himself, often. Or may be she compensated for his silence. Silence that did hurt her. Or may be, didn't. Silence- may be which didn't matter much now. Or may be it did. Silence- which she had started comprehending by now. Or she always did. Did she? Did he??

Answers- he thought- always elude the truth. Her eyes didn't, though. 


He had seen shades-many- reflected through them. He had seen disappointment, sadness, excitement, happiness, joy, enthusiasm, questions, answers- answers which raised more questions-, and many more emotions. He had seen love in all of these emotions. But had he got the ability to recognize love. Hadn't he claimed to recognize it somewhere when it wasn't there? Hadn't he failed to see it unless told? Had he been able to recognize it if not told about it ever?


She looked back. Into his eyes. He wanted to keep looking the same way as he had been. But he had something to say. He was thinking- how??. He was lost. He didn't want to reveal it to her. Anyhow, he looked away. She said something. Something. And then she smiled. She laughed, actually. He smiled and she laughed crazily - the only sane way to laugh. And he felt it was spring season. He felt familiar.

A lot more happened that day. He told me only this much - "a lot more happened". May be he will reveal it in very near future. May be he won't. Still I'll wait. Because, without his telling me more about that 'lot more' -  

How would I know????    

Because love, like death changes everything. ~ Gibran 

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